Scott White asked:


What you say to yourself is what you will believe. You determine whether the language you use when talking to yourself is positive or negative, and your choice has a lot to do with how much success you have in life. If you call yourself a loser, tell yourself how much you **** yourself, or how fat you are, then guess what. Soon you will begin to believe those things and become those things, unless you change your self talk.

Self talk is very powerful – it is the thing that can enable you to be a winner or make you feel like a big loser. So which do you want? To be a successful achiever or someone who is always in a slump, creating depression and an unhappy life?

It might not seem like that big of a deal to be down on yourself once in a while – but listen to your language. Is it really once in a while, or is it most of the time? The fact is, negative self talk can destroy your life and make it virtually impossible to have your dreams come true, while positive self talk can help you get what you want and motivate you to achieve your dreams.

Positive self talk means telling yourself things like you’re a winner, you’re beautiful, and what a success you will be – all things you either believe now or will soon come to believe. The positive or negative language we use absolutely determines our successes or failures, though even more importantly than what we say is how we speak to ourselves.

Professional athletes are masters of positive self talk. Many of them know how to bring themselves out of a slump by changing what they say in their heads. But what if you’re not a pro athlete, or an athlete at all? What if you have developed a pattern of negative self talk? How can you get out of that cycle?

The first thing you need to is recognize that you are doing it, and then do something to interrupt the negative pattern. A common strategy is to wear a rubber band around your wrist. As soon as you notice yourself beginning that negative talk pattern, pull the rubber band back and snap the hell out of your wrist. This motion will create pain while it interrupts your negative self talk. Since you want to avoid pain, if you keep snapping the band, eventually you will change your behavior and self talk to something positive, if only initially to avoid the pain.

Say you’re a business person who needs to make a prospective call and you hear yourself saying, “Who wants to talk to little old me? What do I know anyway?” As soon as these negative thoughts enter your mind, snap the hell out of your wrist with that rubber band, and than rephrase the negative language with some positive self talk, like “Everyone wants to talk with me because I’m so smart” or “I know way more than anyone else out there, and I’m a super pro at talking to people.” This process is called reframing because you are reframing your old negative self talk into something positive.

Now that you’ve learned how to reframe your negative self talk, let’s discuss ways you can make your positive self talk more powerful than a speeding locomotive. The tone of voice you use inside of your head is very important, because there’s a big difference between hearing a pencil-pushing geek tell you to go for it or make it happen versus a big strapping giant telling you not to bother because you’re going to fail anyway.

So the positive self talk voice inside your head should be like the Wizard of Oz, very deep and strong, demanding you to take action and go for it. Then, add some theme music that has a powerful, motivating beat with background singers, and even thunderbolts coming down as you move closer to achieving your goal.

This powerful voice inside of you can get you to do anything and achieve everything you ever wanted, and more. You no longer are someone who can’t get what they want. You are now a well-oiled machine that tells yourself you can do it and believes you can achieve anything you put your mind to. Use this self talk process when you are nervous about asking someone out, in a business meeting, or on the playing field. You can do anything and be anything when you believe you can.

You really are great, but first you’ve got to believe it to be it. If you constantly tell yourself you are a winner, you will believe it. But if you’re still calling yourself a loser, you will most likely believe that. You need only to believe what you say and think, not what others say or don’t say about you. Speak to yourself only about how great you are, not about how bad you are, how many mistakes you make, or how you have never succeeded at anything.

Believe me, you will become what you tell yourself, so if you’re not hearing how great you are, then you won’t feel great. Don’t wait for others to tell you how great you are. Believe it yourself, first, and once others start jumping in about how great you, that will only reinforce how great you really are. Without believing if first, and telling yourself how

powerful you are, you will make it much more difficult to achieve success.

So I don’t care how many times you have to tell yourself you are great or a winner or **** or beautiful or whatever you want to believe. Say it until you are blue in the face. Say it loud and say it proud. Use a big James Brown voice to say what you want to believe. Be creative, have fun, and say it 100 more times after you have already turned blue in the face.

Remember, say it until you believe it, and then keep saying it, using a powerful voice that propels you forward. Then add a chorus or big band sounds. These creative, powerful, and motivating tactics will get you to really believe what you are telling yourself. Don’t wait for others to call you great. Do it now. Start to be amazing on your own – others will realize it once you realize it yourself.

Use positive self talk to make your business, relationship, and life much happier and immeasurably more successful.



Karen

Denise B asked:


Learn how to talk dirty without saying a word? You bet you can! Talking dirty is not just about the things that come out of your mouth. It’s also about what happens before you get to the point of saying anything at all. When you start in a public place, such as a nightclub, a bar, or a classy restaurant, you’re already ahead of the curve.

Before you get into the bedroom, make your man want to hear naughty things from you. If you look and act the part, he will be revved up and raring to go before you say anything. Dress in your best outfit when you know you’re going to see him - the one that really gets him going it a sure bet! - and spritz on some of your favorite perfume. Wear dark lipstick that makes your lips look pouty. You want him to look at your lips and imagine the dirty thoughts that can come out of them!

Next, act the part. Sidle up to him and murmur into his ear. You don’t have to actually say anything, believe it or not - the simply vibrations of your voice and the heat of your breath against his ear will make his blood race. Run a single fingertip down the buttons of his shirt, all the way to his belt buckle, and play with the snap of his jeans. Slip your knee between his legs, getting a little closer.

Of course, eye contact counts, too! Look him in the eye as you give him your best sultry smile. Toss your hair back and challenge him without uttering a sound.

When you’re ready to get the ball rolling a little faster, say something that has a double meaning. Something as simple as “It’s hot in here, isn’t it?” can mean so many things! Tease him with the words you use. Don’t go overboard when you’re in public. Rather, say things that you know will get his mind spinning. “This music…I love a throbbing beat,” is a classic line that will make him think of other things that might be throbbing. Tailor your comments to the situation, and soon you will be dropping hints and innuendo that no man could fail to pick up on.

Your eyes have already told him exactly what you want. Your body has, too. Now your innuendo is sealing the deal. By the time you get to the bedroom, you’ll be saying the naughtiest words that you can think of, the ones that will make him want you even more. Give it a try and see what happens!



Kurt

Denise B asked:


Learning how to talk dirty doesn’t have to be hard-core and nasty. You don’t need a mouth like a **** star to get a rise out of your man! You don’t even have to use words.

The next time you are in bed with your man, pay attention to how vocal you are. Let everything flow naturally, but make a note of what you’re doing. Do you Sigh or whisper? Are you at ease with saying certain things, such as a murmured “I love you” or his name?

Those signs and moans are a good way to get started with talking dirty. Practice becoming more vocal while you’re making love. Make noises that respond directly to what your lover is doing. If it feels good, tell him with a moan or a whimper. Start throwing in other words, too – but nothing dirty yet! Say your lover’s name. A simple phrase like “This feels good” is a great start.

As long as you are saying something while you’re in bed, you’re opening the door to say even more.

When you are ready to take the next step, don’t be amazed if you feel a bit lost. You might have heard all kinds of dirty talk, but when it comes to what works best for you and your partner, it can be hard to decide where to begin!

Start by looking at all those things where you know talking dirty will be featured. Buy a porno movie and watch it when you are alone at home. Make a note of what the women in that video say to turn men on. What words do they use most often? If you’re too shy to go the video route, try picking up an ****** book or magazine. There are all kinds of novels and stories that accommodate your ****** side, and most of them involve some down-and-dirty dialogue.

Study the words. Decide what feels best for you. Once you’ve found a few phrases that intrigue you, take those ideas to the next level. If you learn how to talk dirty and are comfortable with it, it will be the best thing to happen to your relationship.

 



Anna

Carol Norda asked:


Have you ever been asked by your partner to talk dirty in bed? Of course you have, almost everybody enjoys a little pillow talk in the bedroom. The problem is, of course, when your partner asks you to say something dirty, and your mind draws a blank. Or worse, you freeze up; you aren’t comfortable saying those things aloud.

Talking dirty is easy, once you get started. The most important thing to remember is to stay relaxed and natural. If you are feeling a little nervous about saying anything in the bedroom, an easy way to start is simply by telling your partner when he does something you like. Simply say, “Oh yeah, I like it when you touch me there.” Nothing will fire up your partner like hearing your voice complimenting him on his moves!

Once you are warmed up, you can start moving on to a little more advanced talk. Use whatever words you feel comfortable with, you don’t have to use filthy language. But remember, it is not **** to use clinical terms. The word vagina, although proper, is not ****. You do not have to sound like a **** star, but with the proper tone of voice and a few choice words you will drive your partner crazy.

If you are ready to drive your partner crazy with some filthy talk in bed, start asking him questions. Try saying something like, “You like it when I touch you there don’t you?” Of course, these are rhetorical questions, but of course, your partner will be too worked up to answer you anyway!

Remember that dirty talk should not be confined to the bedroom; take it out of the bedroom to really kick up your *** life. Whisper in your partner’s ear what you plan on doing to him when you get home while you are out at a party. Because you are in public, and there is nothing that he can do, he will be unable to contain himself.

You may be a little nervous when you first start to talk dirty in bed, but once you are warmed up, you may not be able to stop yourself! Once you get started, you will not only be turning your partner on, but you will be firing yourself up as well and you may not be able to stop!



Melinda