Robert Monteux asked:


“The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept” - George Carlin

All day, every day, you talk to yourself. Sometimes you may not even be aware of it, but you are doing it. Even at night in your deepest sleep, you are sending yourself constant messages.

During your waking hours there are so many messages, that it would take a huge effort to sort them out. In reality, you can never sort out all of the messages because the instant you try to focus on your self-talk many thoughts are left behind, not even comprehended at the conscious level.

On the other hand, many of these conversations with yourself are very clear. Sometimes you can even have them out loud. At one time you have probably had the experience of being told, "You’re talking to yourself."

So, what kind of messages are you sending when you talk to yourself?

You talk about hopes and dreams. You talk about what you would do if you won the lottery and what you think of the driver in front of you. You talk about how you felt when your boss ignored your idea. You tell yourself what is wrong with your husband or wife, how you are going to deal with a customer, what you will have for dinner, and where you will go on vacation (if you ever get one).

Sometimes you even beat yourself up. You tell yourself you aren’t successful enough, you aren’t a good enough parent, or what you should have said in that conversation. You may even tell yourself that you are not very attractive, that you’re in lousy shape, it’s going to be a lousy day, and maybe you just can’t do the job.

As much as it is a truth that we all talk to ourselves all day long, it is a truth that whatever you say to yourself all day long is what forms your reality.

The conscious mind has an astounding ability to instruct the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind, with no ability to judge information it receives, simply does what you tell it to do.

Ralph Waldo Emerson observed that, "Man is what he thinks all day long." What you think all day long is what you are saying to yourself all day long. And what you are telling yourself is what you are instructing your subconscious mind to deliver for you.

Modifying your self-talk involves a long-term commitment that you must act on every day. It takes time and dedication.

1. Pay Attention

The first and most important step is to become more and more aware of the talk in your head. Start listening to your inner voices. When you start listening, you’ll be amazed at how much of what’s going on in there isn’t all that healthy for you. So, first of all, start paying attention.

2. Challenge Your Self Talk

When you catch yourself talking to yourself in a non-productive or negative way, put up a mental STOP sign and ask yourself, "Is there a better way for me to be thinking about this?" The writer Dr. Joseph Murphy says, "Never let yourself finish a negative thought…"

If you find yourself saying, "I **** this job," or "I just don’t know what to do," more constructive statements might be, "This is a tough situation, but I can handle it, or "I don’t know what to do NOW, but I’ll figure out something."

If you wake in the morning and grumble to yourself, "It’s going to be a lousy day," try getting out of bed, smile to yourself in the mirror (as hard as that may be first thing in the morning, and tell yourself, "I feel fantastic and this is going to be a spectacular day!"

Challenge your self-talk as it happens!

3. Plan Ahead

The next step is to anticipate situations that may produce negative self-talk.

Just as you take the time to script out what you are going to say on an important phone call or how you’ll answers the tough questions during that vital job interview, take the time to write yourself a self-talk script for those difficult moments during your internal day. Identify the "trigger" situations in your life, situations that turn on the negative self-talk, and plan how you are going to react internally.

In emotional or stressful situations, when the "same old feelings" start bubbling up, put up your mental STOP sign, take a moment to breathe, and replace the negative thoughts with either positive statements, or at the least, neutral statements, such as, "I can think about this later."

Remember, you don’t HAVE to react to the thoughts your mind presents you. It is a habit you can break with awareness. The moment you notice that it is just a THOUGHT and not a COMMAND you have a choice. You are in touch with your "observing self". That gap or moment of awareness allows you to notice the thought and CHOOSE to do what you have always done or CHOOSE to do something different.

Ask yourself, "Will I nurture my reaction, or choose my response?"

When you talk to yourself, make it in first person singular, speak only in the present tense, and never let any doubt or qualification sneak into your inner conversation. Don’t wish for things; don’t anticipate change as some future event or your subconscious will accept a future date and will do nothing to effect that change now.

To change your behavior, identify the results you want and state them in the positive present. If you want to do a great job in that presentation an appropriate affirmation might be, "I’m calm and relaxed speaking in front of an audience." To improve your tennis game, don’t focus on improving little things; see yourself as a finished product. "I’m relaxed and confident on the court, focused on the ball, and playing each point one point at a time."

Pay attention to what you say to yourself, challenge your self-talk and see your future as an accomplished fact. Practice these things daily for two to three weeks and you will start to notice yourself making better choices in your self-talk. This will become a powerful force, when combined with action, to bring about the results you desire in your life.

Change the way you talk to yourself and you will change your actions and results. Confucius said, "The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large."



Gilbert

Denise B asked:


When it’s time to try those new talking dirty words out in bed, you’re probably going to be anxious. That’s okay! Anything worthwhile is usually nerve-wracking, but remember: You’ve paid attention. You’ve made a point of making more noise in bed. You’re saying little things that aren’t necessarily dirty, but that add to the thrill of the experience. What you are doing now is simply adding another dimension to an already great bedtime romp.

Start off slow, using phrases that titillate, but nothing too hard core. A good way to break into dirty talk is to describe what you want your lover to do to you – or to describe what you’re going to do to him. It isn’t a very long leap from a sultry “I’m going to go down on you” to something much raunchier.

As you say those dirty things, gauge your lover’s reaction. Does his body react as a result? Does it drive him so wild, he just has to have you? Does he talk dirty right back to you, encouraging you to do more? Those are all signs you’re on the right track!

Now that you know your lover is listening, start whispering even naughtier words into his eager ear. Start by ramping up your descriptions. If you said “That feels good” before, now you can tell him exactly what feels good. “I love it when you stroke me there” is a good thing to say, but how to get more creative with it? “I love it when you finger my breast” is a way of telling him exactly where you like to be touched.

See where we are going with this? You are starting with the easier phrases and moving into things that – rightfully so – can make you blush. If they make your partner blush, even better!

What can you think of that would make learning to talk dirty easier? This is the time you can bring in other things into bed with you. A bowl of fresh fruits would prompt you and your lover to talk about the “succulent” flavors and get more original with describing exactly what you plan to do with those delights! You can also reach for your ******** and use it simultaneously, all the while describing what it does to you – or better yet, ask your partner to watch you, and ask him to describe what he sees. The more detail, the better!

 



Jessie

Chris Roberts asked:


You think you might benefit from a few lessons on how to talk dirty without talking. First you have to decide which method you want to use for your dirty talk. Do you want to talk dirty to your lover in photos or written words or perhaps both?

If you’re planning a romantic night full of passionate love making then you should start your dirty talk in the morning and carry it through the day and into the night.

A quick note left in his brief case or shirt pocket that reads “Guess what I have planned for you tonight?” is a great way to start. This will start his day thinking about you and the night that is to come, while teasing him and making him wonder just what it is you do have planned for the night.

A few hours later send him a text message or an email. Of course this depends on where he works and what the chances are that someone will see his private email or text message. If there is a chance someone will read it then choose your words very carefully. If you are certain it is for his eyes only then by all means let the words flow freely…

Another great but brave idea is to send him a picture of yourself if you’re shy pick out a **** lingerie and leave your head out of the picture or if you’re brave take it all off.  Strike a provocative pose and smile pretty! I don’t recommend this if he drives for a living or has a dangerous job because unless this is something you do often you’re going to shook the sugar out of him!

If it’s possible to meet him for lunch and the two of you can be alone then show up and join him for a quite lunch of foreplay. A little kissing, nibbling and perhaps even a little ******* will be just the lunch he was in the mood for.

As the evening approaches you can send him another email, text message or a picture. They say a picture is worth a thousand words so if you’re sending a second one make sure it is better than the first!

When he arrives home be sure the shower is ready and help him undress as you lead him to the bathroom, climb in with him and wash all the days’ worries away. Give him a little sample of what he has to look forward to but not too much! The longer you make him wait the more amazing the *** will be.

With all that being said my friends is how you can talk dirty to your lover without uttering a single word!



Christine

Peter Murphy asked:


Why do many people often talk about the art of small talk? Is there really an art to making small talk? Actually, there is.

One person who wanted to propagate the art of making small talk was the late President Franklin Roosevelt. To see if his listeners were paying attention to him, he would often greet people saying: I murdered my grandmother this morning. Most of the time, people did not notice - until he met one alert woman who replied: I am sure she had it coming. Thus, the President proved that most people have neglected the art of small talk.

Making small talk means making pleasant conversation on casual topics. It is different from conversations which pursue deep topics because making small talk means you do not engage in heavy debate about such deep topics. The point of small talk is to find topics that you and the other party have in common, so that you can form deeper ties with the other person. The preferred effect of small talk is to form ties of friendship with the person you are talking to.

Why is the art of small talk deemed important? It is because small talk can:

1. Create a friendly atmosphere wherein you and the other person can exist.

2. Help you make a favorable first impression on the other person.

3. Permit two people to learn a lot about one another within a short period of time.

4. Help you learn more about a topic that you are interested in.

How can you master the art of small talk then? There are ten steps to doing so:

1. Prior to an event where you know you will have to engage in some small talk, try to bone up on various topics you believe will be of interest to all concerned. It helps if you are actually interested in such topics yourself.

2. Avoid topics which are controversial, too personal, or which may be offensive in some way to the other party. (These could include topics such as problems with your health, family, finances, or other personal issues; death; divorce; violent crimes; loss of employment; poor view of the current state of the economy; incidents of famine, pestilence, war and terrorism; issues that are known to make people react emotionally; religion; politics; and ***.)

3. Learn to gauge the receptiveness of other people to the small talk topic you have selected. This means that if the other party gives you subtle vibes that he does not like the issue at hand, you should find a way to excuse yourself politely from the group and join another group which is more receptive to making small talk.

4. Smile and maintain eye contact with the person you are making small talk with. This helps to raise the comfort level for both you and the other party.

5. Introduce yourself first then lead the conversation by asking an open-ended question. Some people though are naturally shy so if you find this hard, let someone ask the first question then make it a point to join in afterwards.

6. Make it a point to use the name of the other person in the conversation. This shows the other party that you are paying attention.

7. Listen closely so that you can catch key phrases and words, facts and opinions vented by other people in the group. This allows you to make intelligent comments yourself.

8. Self-disclosure is important because it shows the other people around you that you trust them enough with certain information about you. The trick is knowing how much personal information to disclose.

9. Encourage other people to join in by asking for their opinion about the topic.

10. Restate information disclosed in the conversation to show you are attentive.

As you can see, the art of small talk can be kept alive if enough people were to follow these guidelines.



Elsie

Jon83 asked:


 

LETS TALK ABOUT THIS

 

If you want your ex to talk to you for whatever reason, you want your ex back, they still have your keys, then here is a step by step guide to help you. If you are more focused on getting your ex back, then over at this site there’s a great guide to help you.

 

 

STEP ONE: Don’t talk, and your ex will talk to you

 

The first step is no contact, not forever, just a week. This helps clear the air and gets rid of any tension that might be floating around. It might seem weird that if you want to get your ex to talk to you that you don’t talk to them, but it works. So! Make a few plans for the week ahead, and do not try to contact them at all!

 

It is worth mentioning here that if they try to contact you, don’t just hang up on them etc. What you have to do is just tell them how busy you are right now and you promise to get back to them. Be upbeat and unresentful when you are telling them this.

 

 

STEP TWO: It is now time to talk to the Ex!

 

So after your week of absence your ex has probably thought once or twice as to what you were up to, no matter how much they would deny it. Now the next step is to find some excuse to call them up, ask them something, make a joke if you have to, and then end the conversation, all the while being upbeat and in a good mood.

 

This will bring down their defences for your next encounter and has set the stage for you two to get back on talking terms.

 

 

STEP THREE: Meet, Greet, and Talk!

 

You can do step 2 once or twice but no more. Afterwards you are going to want to set up a meeting. Maybe it is something you left at their place, or something they left at yours. The point is it is a very short meeting and one your ex doesn’t have to prepare much for. For example DON’T INVITE THEM TO THE MOVIES. Remember when you meet them to again act up beat and in good spirits.

 

 

NOW WE’RE TALKIN’

If you followed the guide then I am quite confident you two are now talking again. Wasn’t too hard was it? If you have read this article but havent acted yet, get started! You don’t have anything to lose. Now you’ve got them talking to you again, it’s now possible to Get Your Ex Back For Good.

 

 



Sarah

Scott White asked:


What you say to yourself is what you will believe. You determine whether the language you use when talking to yourself is positive or negative, and your choice has a lot to do with how much success you have in life. If you call yourself a loser, tell yourself how much you **** yourself, or how fat you are, then guess what. Soon you will begin to believe those things and become those things, unless you change your self talk.

Self talk is very powerful – it is the thing that can enable you to be a winner or make you feel like a big loser. So which do you want? To be a successful achiever or someone who is always in a slump, creating depression and an unhappy life?

It might not seem like that big of a deal to be down on yourself once in a while – but listen to your language. Is it really once in a while, or is it most of the time? The fact is, negative self talk can destroy your life and make it virtually impossible to have your dreams come true, while positive self talk can help you get what you want and motivate you to achieve your dreams.

Positive self talk means telling yourself things like you’re a winner, you’re beautiful, and what a success you will be – all things you either believe now or will soon come to believe. The positive or negative language we use absolutely determines our successes or failures, though even more importantly than what we say is how we speak to ourselves.

Professional athletes are masters of positive self talk. Many of them know how to bring themselves out of a slump by changing what they say in their heads. But what if you’re not a pro athlete, or an athlete at all? What if you have developed a pattern of negative self talk? How can you get out of that cycle?

The first thing you need to is recognize that you are doing it, and then do something to interrupt the negative pattern. A common strategy is to wear a rubber band around your wrist. As soon as you notice yourself beginning that negative talk pattern, pull the rubber band back and snap the hell out of your wrist. This motion will create pain while it interrupts your negative self talk. Since you want to avoid pain, if you keep snapping the band, eventually you will change your behavior and self talk to something positive, if only initially to avoid the pain.

Say you’re a business person who needs to make a prospective call and you hear yourself saying, “Who wants to talk to little old me? What do I know anyway?” As soon as these negative thoughts enter your mind, snap the hell out of your wrist with that rubber band, and than rephrase the negative language with some positive self talk, like “Everyone wants to talk with me because I’m so smart” or “I know way more than anyone else out there, and I’m a super pro at talking to people.” This process is called reframing because you are reframing your old negative self talk into something positive.

Now that you’ve learned how to reframe your negative self talk, let’s discuss ways you can make your positive self talk more powerful than a speeding locomotive. The tone of voice you use inside of your head is very important, because there’s a big difference between hearing a pencil-pushing geek tell you to go for it or make it happen versus a big strapping giant telling you not to bother because you’re going to fail anyway.

So the positive self talk voice inside your head should be like the Wizard of Oz, very deep and strong, demanding you to take action and go for it. Then, add some theme music that has a powerful, motivating beat with background singers, and even thunderbolts coming down as you move closer to achieving your goal.

This powerful voice inside of you can get you to do anything and achieve everything you ever wanted, and more. You no longer are someone who can’t get what they want. You are now a well-oiled machine that tells yourself you can do it and believes you can achieve anything you put your mind to. Use this self talk process when you are nervous about asking someone out, in a business meeting, or on the playing field. You can do anything and be anything when you believe you can.

You really are great, but first you’ve got to believe it to be it. If you constantly tell yourself you are a winner, you will believe it. But if you’re still calling yourself a loser, you will most likely believe that. You need only to believe what you say and think, not what others say or don’t say about you. Speak to yourself only about how great you are, not about how bad you are, how many mistakes you make, or how you have never succeeded at anything.

Believe me, you will become what you tell yourself, so if you’re not hearing how great you are, then you won’t feel great. Don’t wait for others to tell you how great you are. Believe it yourself, first, and once others start jumping in about how great you, that will only reinforce how great you really are. Without believing if first, and telling yourself how

powerful you are, you will make it much more difficult to achieve success.

So I don’t care how many times you have to tell yourself you are great or a winner or **** or beautiful or whatever you want to believe. Say it until you are blue in the face. Say it loud and say it proud. Use a big James Brown voice to say what you want to believe. Be creative, have fun, and say it 100 more times after you have already turned blue in the face.

Remember, say it until you believe it, and then keep saying it, using a powerful voice that propels you forward. Then add a chorus or big band sounds. These creative, powerful, and motivating tactics will get you to really believe what you are telling yourself. Don’t wait for others to call you great. Do it now. Start to be amazing on your own – others will realize it once you realize it yourself.

Use positive self talk to make your business, relationship, and life much happier and immeasurably more successful.



Karen

Denise B asked:


Learn how to talk dirty without saying a word? You bet you can! Talking dirty is not just about the things that come out of your mouth. It’s also about what happens before you get to the point of saying anything at all. When you start in a public place, such as a nightclub, a bar, or a classy restaurant, you’re already ahead of the curve.

Before you get into the bedroom, make your man want to hear naughty things from you. If you look and act the part, he will be revved up and raring to go before you say anything. Dress in your best outfit when you know you’re going to see him - the one that really gets him going it a sure bet! - and spritz on some of your favorite perfume. Wear dark lipstick that makes your lips look pouty. You want him to look at your lips and imagine the dirty thoughts that can come out of them!

Next, act the part. Sidle up to him and murmur into his ear. You don’t have to actually say anything, believe it or not - the simply vibrations of your voice and the heat of your breath against his ear will make his blood race. Run a single fingertip down the buttons of his shirt, all the way to his belt buckle, and play with the snap of his jeans. Slip your knee between his legs, getting a little closer.

Of course, eye contact counts, too! Look him in the eye as you give him your best sultry smile. Toss your hair back and challenge him without uttering a sound.

When you’re ready to get the ball rolling a little faster, say something that has a double meaning. Something as simple as “It’s hot in here, isn’t it?” can mean so many things! Tease him with the words you use. Don’t go overboard when you’re in public. Rather, say things that you know will get his mind spinning. “This music…I love a throbbing beat,” is a classic line that will make him think of other things that might be throbbing. Tailor your comments to the situation, and soon you will be dropping hints and innuendo that no man could fail to pick up on.

Your eyes have already told him exactly what you want. Your body has, too. Now your innuendo is sealing the deal. By the time you get to the bedroom, you’ll be saying the naughtiest words that you can think of, the ones that will make him want you even more. Give it a try and see what happens!



Kurt

Denise B asked:


Learning how to talk dirty doesn’t have to be hard-core and nasty. You don’t need a mouth like a **** star to get a rise out of your man! You don’t even have to use words.

The next time you are in bed with your man, pay attention to how vocal you are. Let everything flow naturally, but make a note of what you’re doing. Do you Sigh or whisper? Are you at ease with saying certain things, such as a murmured “I love you” or his name?

Those signs and moans are a good way to get started with talking dirty. Practice becoming more vocal while you’re making love. Make noises that respond directly to what your lover is doing. If it feels good, tell him with a moan or a whimper. Start throwing in other words, too – but nothing dirty yet! Say your lover’s name. A simple phrase like “This feels good” is a great start.

As long as you are saying something while you’re in bed, you’re opening the door to say even more.

When you are ready to take the next step, don’t be amazed if you feel a bit lost. You might have heard all kinds of dirty talk, but when it comes to what works best for you and your partner, it can be hard to decide where to begin!

Start by looking at all those things where you know talking dirty will be featured. Buy a porno movie and watch it when you are alone at home. Make a note of what the women in that video say to turn men on. What words do they use most often? If you’re too shy to go the video route, try picking up an ****** book or magazine. There are all kinds of novels and stories that accommodate your ****** side, and most of them involve some down-and-dirty dialogue.

Study the words. Decide what feels best for you. Once you’ve found a few phrases that intrigue you, take those ideas to the next level. If you learn how to talk dirty and are comfortable with it, it will be the best thing to happen to your relationship.

 



Anna

Carol Norda asked:


Have you ever been asked by your partner to talk dirty in bed? Of course you have, almost everybody enjoys a little pillow talk in the bedroom. The problem is, of course, when your partner asks you to say something dirty, and your mind draws a blank. Or worse, you freeze up; you aren’t comfortable saying those things aloud.

Talking dirty is easy, once you get started. The most important thing to remember is to stay relaxed and natural. If you are feeling a little nervous about saying anything in the bedroom, an easy way to start is simply by telling your partner when he does something you like. Simply say, “Oh yeah, I like it when you touch me there.” Nothing will fire up your partner like hearing your voice complimenting him on his moves!

Once you are warmed up, you can start moving on to a little more advanced talk. Use whatever words you feel comfortable with, you don’t have to use filthy language. But remember, it is not **** to use clinical terms. The word vagina, although proper, is not ****. You do not have to sound like a **** star, but with the proper tone of voice and a few choice words you will drive your partner crazy.

If you are ready to drive your partner crazy with some filthy talk in bed, start asking him questions. Try saying something like, “You like it when I touch you there don’t you?” Of course, these are rhetorical questions, but of course, your partner will be too worked up to answer you anyway!

Remember that dirty talk should not be confined to the bedroom; take it out of the bedroom to really kick up your *** life. Whisper in your partner’s ear what you plan on doing to him when you get home while you are out at a party. Because you are in public, and there is nothing that he can do, he will be unable to contain himself.

You may be a little nervous when you first start to talk dirty in bed, but once you are warmed up, you may not be able to stop yourself! Once you get started, you will not only be turning your partner on, but you will be firing yourself up as well and you may not be able to stop!



Melinda

Denise B asked:


 

So, you want to some example of talking dirty? The most important part of dirty talk is to become at ease with it. The more comfortable we are in knowing how to talk dirty to our partner the more intimate it becomes and with that your inhibitions will fade.

Talking dirty is like a secret with your partner, a secret that only you two know and that is a very potent and intimate thing in itself. As you learn to dirty talk it opens an entire new world of possibilities. You and your partner will learn things about each other that once seemed impossible.

Examples of talking dirty are easy to come up with if you put your mind to it. Below I touch on a few things that will help you in becoming more comfortable with talking dirty and help you bridge the gap between want and execution.

Example of Talking Dirty One: The tone of your voice goes a long way in talking dirty. Next time you are in bed and you and your partner are making love try saying something simple like “I love it when you touch me there” or “I love the way you feel against my skin.” These simple sayings can be said in bed as they do not come off as being dirty and are the first steps to getting comfortable.

Example of Talking Dirty Two: If you haven’t ever dirty talked with your partner surprising them with it might be a turn-off. Take small steps to find out where he stands by doing the following. Get a good dirty book and read it while watching television or just lying in bed. When he notices what you are reading get up next to him and read a couple verses. If he likes it then read more, if not you know where he stands on talking dirty.



Alicia